The Armstrong 5

I cannot believe that 2011 is already ending. I sort of had a resolution from last year - to not complain. I must admit, I did pretty well until just after my trip to Thailand. Not sure what happened there, but I want to keep that one up again this year. I think complaining is one of the worst things you can do to disprove how much you actually trust in Jesus - after all, if you really believe He knows best and has your best interest at heart, then you should be happy to endure whatever it is you're going through b/c you know He's got it, right? I think so & I want to live that way regularly!

There is another big thing I want to work on this year too. Grace!! I'm not a very gracious person by nature (anyone who knows me from HS or college has a good idea of this). I can be very judgmental and condemning. Instead, I want to live in a way that makes other people want to pursue a right relationship with God. Even with my kids, instead of showing them how sad & awful it is to not have a right relationship with God, I want them to see how great it is to have that relationship. Instead of being upset when I see a wrong-doing or injustice, I want to spend time praying for the situation and looking intelligently at what I can do about it. And if there's nothing I can tangibly do, to continue to pray and trust that God sees it.

Those are the big things: to not complain, to be more gracious. While complaining is pretty measurable, graciousness is a bit different. My hope is that I get to the end of 2012 and am able to take note of how my actions towards those I love are different and that (hopefully) others have noticed the change as well. I guess I will have to just aim high and trust that God will change me and trust that if I stay humble, He will help me take note in areas that need improvement or drastic change!

I also want to be more of a "doer." I know that many of my friends say "You are so busy" or "I know you have a lot going on" but I don't actually feel like I do that much!! I have a bunch of little things and your general life-commitment things like being a wife and mother, but I have so many desires and ambitions in my head that never come to fruition. It's frustrating. I know I could use my time better & I have LOTS of room to be more disciplined in areas like fitness, communication with family, spending time with important people (important to me, that is) and I am horrible at maintaining a clean, organized home. Ugh!! But, I have a few tangible goals in those areas (see my 30 before 30 list) so I'm hopeful that you, my friends and bloggers, can help keep me on track. With this, it will be necessary to toss aside frivolous hopes, dreams and potential outcomes and focus on the reality that only what I start doing is what will get done! True right? I cannot take time to daydream about being a great blogger if I never sit down and blog! I cannot daydream about being able to run 3 miles well without actually practicing running! I want to stop being the type of person who just talks about what they want to do and start being the type of person who gets a move on it.

So, here we are to my list of resolutions!!

#1 - No complaining! Sharing is okay mostly, but no bad attitudes about what is happening in life.
#2 - Be more gracious next year than I am today.
#3 - Be a doer!! Complicated, but possible. Take action to accomplish fitness goals. Take action to maintain important relationships. Take action to keep my home a pleasant place to be.

There. I think that's enough work for a whole year right?? If I have it all nailed down by February I'll let you know ;) I have so many thoughts about why these things are important to me, but I'll save that for another post in January (that whole taking action thing will be important to make sure it happens)! I hope that New Year's is a great time for you - that you find inspiration to live a life that glorifies God & trust that He will accomplish good purposes through you, no matter what kind of life you are coming from! Happy New Years!!

So, I finished my 30 before 30 list! Pretty exciting stuff :) I hope that it will encourage me to make better goals to be active in enjoying the life I have. I feel so blessed about 90% of the time, and the other 10% I feel guilty because I know I am blessed but don't feel it. Anyway, I want to enjoy life, make the most of it and really encourage others to make the most of theirs too. I didn't really put any spiritual goals on there tho. That's more my like my "New Year's" type of thing. Which I will hopefully blog about soon.

So, look at the top of this post for my page that says "30 before 30" and keep me accountable! I'll be crossing things off the list as I do them. It'll be crazy to look at these a year from now. Hopefully I'll look back with joy and be ready to make another list of goals! Thanks for all the friends and family who have been and will be a part of my life... it would really stink without all of you :) Thanks especially to my dear husband who is great at encouraging me despite often feeling like he doesn't know how to help and for keeping me accountable without totally crushing my spirit! He really is awesome and I'm so glad God put us together and fashioned us so uniquely for each other. If you have a list of goals, please share!! I'd love to see what you want to do this year!

Yes, I am so inconsistent! Sorry. Hopefully not many of you are dying to know what my life is like all the time... you could probably just check Facebook tho to get a general idea.

So, since I turn 29 this month, I am making a "30 before 30" list. Fun huh? Maybe, hopefully! I'm not very good at setting & accomplishing goals. This will be a good task for me. My hope is to stay on top of it... have goals for each season of the year so that way I can make progress all year. That's the purpose right? To make some goals that keep you thinking about what you want to accomplish in life. Now, most of these goals are not things that I really want to make sure I do before I die per-se. I just want to stay active & see to it that I enjoy the things God has given in life. This is weird to say, but if you know me well, you know I struggle with enjoying things. I'm in the middle of trying to unravel all of this, but it's an exhausting and complicated process. Hopefully, God will provide me pieces of clarity along the way.

One of the contributing issues is my strong desire to look good. I absolutely hate looking bad. Bad hair days, fat days, nothing to wear that makes me look stylish days - these are all small (and honestly, unimportant) things that cause me to have a terrible attitude. When I was in Thailand, about 7 days into the trip, I realized that I hadn't thought much about what I would be wearing. I was there to do something else - something important - so clothes didn't matter much to me for that week. Then I realized that at home, I CONSTANTLY worry about clothes. Maybe not always worry, but I think, plan, organize, long for more stylish stuff so often. Why? What is this desire to look good? Cultural, personal, sinful, distracting? I'm also unraveling this issue. I feel like if I was really, truly centered in God's love and earnest in pursuing the advancement of His kingdom, I wouldn't care so much about my clothes. Even when I know in my mind that it does not matter, even when I am at home all day & seeing no one, I still try so hard to look good & often am a terrible, anxious crank when I don't. I don't think I try to look good for anyone in particular, I just feel better when I do. So I cater to those feelings & struggle with how to handle them when I don't look at good as I want. Why do I want it so bad? Insecurity? Yes, probably a huge part of it!! And that's a huge inconsistency in my life - telling other's about God's love and goodness, but not believing it enough to give me security.

I've been dealing with that issue for a long time, but lately, it's come to my attention that if I want to serve God, to love Him and truly be active in experiencing His presence, I need to start dealing with it. Yes, our culture very much has an influence on this topic - how we look & feel about the way we look - but God is all about breaking cultural strongholds to give us freedom. I do want that, I just want to look nice while I have it. Ugh! So frustrating dealing with myself and my emotions and my trivial desires. And don't for a second think about telling me it's okay to want to look good - if you can find it in the bible, sure, tell me... but I'm pretty sure it's not in there. And yes, there are things the bible doesn't talk about that are good things, but the desire to be fashionable and beautiful is a distracting issue for me & causes my heart to wrestle and desire the world. That's really why I want to deal with it. I want to ensure that I am not a slave to the world (1 John 2:15).

Anyway, just thought I'd share my current "self" and tell all of you faithful followers that I'm alive and surviving :) Mark's job is a dream for him, and once we start getting paid I'm sure I'll be a bit more relieved & feel better about his time away from home. I'm super proud of him for landing such a fabulous job. Tons of people always tell him he's smart, but this is the first time his job has confirmed it too, and that's exciting! The commute is pretty awful, so at this point, we'll probably start looking at moving to Portland or the Tigard area towards February... we both feel like we just cannot justify 15-20hrs of driving all week. It's not the money or anything, just the time spent sitting around! If God puts it on our hearts to stay, by all means we will, but we've got to at least start moving in a direction and see if God blesses it.

Well, when I get my "30 before 30" list done, I'll blog again and put it up for everyone to see! That's scary - but, it'll be good because hopefully, it'll ensure I stay committed! Thanks for reading - pray for me if you think to!!

So, back where I left off...

During the rest of our training on Friday we learned about Thai culture. Interesting stuff! First, no one typically has furniture in the villages, and you want to do your best to sit with your feet covered - boy, it was interesting learning how to sit on the floor like that for 2 hours at a time!! Also, in Thailand, you take off your shoes before entering a house - sometimes even general public places, depending on how casual or formal it is. This got to be very 2nd nature (for the most part) and it was interesting to see how even little children who could barely walk and who did not obey their parents ALWAYS took their shoes off. Just goes to show how if something is ingrained and expected, kids can obey! We also learned that if a Thai person offers you a glass of water, you NEED to accept it... you don't need to drink it and you won't offend anyone if you don't drink it. But if you don't take it, well, you are being extremely rude and disrespectful. Also, if you are at someone's home and they say "Do you want a cookie?" you should wait until they ask the 3rd time to accept. If you say no, they will ask again until you either say yes or no on the third time. If you accept before the 3rd time, you are being greedy!

We learned a bunch more, but I cannot remember it all :) While I was there I did learn how to say "thank you" in 3 different dialects - Thai, Lahu and Lisu - that latter two are tribal languages spoken in the north. I also learned to say "hello" in Thai and Lahu, and "I don't understand" in Thai. Not a ton, but you know, it worked. I had a translator with me the entire time we were in villages (she was awesome, more on her later) and in the city we were usually with one of the Jessens (who all speak some Thai, except for the dad, Kelly) or Ben who is pretty fluent. All of the language stuff made me that much more determined to continue learning French here at home. Mark grew up in France and is pretty fluent and I've been learning a teensy bit and trying to learn but honestly, I've been slacking. We want to teach the boys while they are young, so I need to be a lot more dedicated. I know some Spanish (it's one of the most common languages spoken in the world) and since French is spoken in lots of places around the world too (Canada, France, lots of Europe, Haiti, some of Africa and some of Australia) I figure that's where I'm going to put my effort.

Back to Thailand - after lunch at the hotel we went out and about in the heart of Chiang Mai - Thai Pei Square. There is a built-in remnant of the moat that used to surround the whole city and during November, there are several Buddhist celebrations that take place there. Surprisingly, they are all very reminiscent of Christianity and Easter - water washing away our sins, lights & lanterns to send our prayers up to Heaven - interesting to say the least. It was pretty neat to walk around the city. Also pretty sad. You go so quickly from seeing something beautiful to seeing something tragic or disturbing. In general, people don't care about other people or cleanliness. It's so odd to me... as Americans, we like things to be neat and orderly. I actually spent some time talking with a few people on our team about this difference - whether it is just strictly cultural or personal or a Christian thing to want to clean things up. More on that later as well :)

During our short jaunt in the city, we were able to share the gospel with a Buddhist man named Amnoi (I'm sure that is not how you spell it, but that's how it sounds). He was receptive to hearing it but certainly bound by the fear of what evil spirits would do to him if he prayed to God. He admitted several things that were contradictory to his beliefs but could not make the leap of faith to trusting God instead. He said that he goes to the temple and offers sacrifices to Buddhist monks... did you know that monks only receive what people give them? So, their faith requires them to trust in other people to sacrifice out of fear for well-being in order to survive...??? It makes me so glad that my well-being rests in God's hands, regardless of how many people trust in Him. Interesting for sure. Anyway, we found many people who agreed that God seems more powerful and nicer, but they were still fearful. And you simply cannot talk someone into trusting God more than fearing evil, the Spirit has to open their eyes and hearts.

That was the hardest part of the trip - trusting God to turn people towards Himself. You see hardness and sadness and people despairing but still refusing to walk in His ways... I got very discouraged a few times about it. At one point I was wishing that Jesus would come back right at that moment and end all the despair and destruction. Even though I do look forward to Christ's return, I never longed for it like I did then. It's easy in America so think that things are good and well. They are most certainly not. Yes, I'm having a good time living here in McMinnville, Oregon... but that doesn't mean that I should take heart b/c of how good my life is right now. I should take heart b/c God has overcome the world! And many of you emailed me in my despair and reminded me of that. God has His plan, I can trust that it is good and I can be satisfied knowing that I was working in what God had laid out for me, accomplishing His work and that those people's salvation is not dependent on how well I tell the story or how well I show compassion. It's dependent on Him alone. That is mind blowing when you think about it for more than 2 seconds!

Anyway, that pretty much sums up day #1. Ha! I'll be lucky to finish sharing about this trip by the end of the year!! On another note, Mark is job hunting this week, and probably some of next week too. We're looking anywhere for IOS programming jobs... he's applied to almost 40 so far, has had some interviews and some appointments... we'll keep you posted! Mark's goal is to put a lot of effort into seeking out a job, and if one does not line up, we'll trust that doing all this stuff on our own without an employer is the route to continue on. If he has several offers... well, we'll see! Keep us in prayer as this may require fast thinking with lots of wisdom. We both trust that if God moves us somewhere crazy, that's where He has ministry for us (besides the actual income-earning job). Hope you enjoy the Thailand photos!

Hanging out in the back of the van - love these kids!

I know I'm due for another Thailand post, but the last few days I've enjoyed my kids so much I just want to post a little about them.

Asher is getting to be such a big kid! He knows all his letters, knows what many words begin with by sounding it out and has started to ask what certain words spell when he sees them. Mark downloaded a little iPad app where it teaches you to trace letters and Asher has REALLY been glued to it. The week before I left, Asher was drawing inside of bubble letters, almost like tracing... so, in the next month or so I will try getting him to do some pre-school type of work - tracing inside letters and stuff like that. He seems very driven to learn so far!

Asher is also a GREAT big brother. At bedtime, Mark often asks Asher to go get Cole's PJ's. He ALWAYS brings back a matching pair! We've known for a long time that he is very observant and it's only becoming more and more apparent. Asher also does a great job giving Cole kisses and hugs before bedtime and nap time. He often asks to come in and give Cole a kiss while I am tucking him in for nap. Mark has been working on teaching Asher manners and so lately, once finished with a meal, he says "Mom, can I be excused?" in the sweetest little voice you ever heard! Also, he clears his dishes, gets a wipe, wipes his hands and face & always asks "Does that look good?" before he throws the wipe away. Love his cleanliness and consistency!

This conversation happened at dinner:

Asher: "Mom, the (awee ens) will hurt my eyes!"
Me: (thinking he is pretending) "Oh, the aliens will hurt your eyes huh?"
Asher" "No mom, the (oeeons) will hurt my eyes."
Me: "Oh, the ONIONS! Yes, that's right (insert muffled laughing)."
Funny.

Also, I mentioned the word diarrhea at dinner (I know, so taboo, but it happens when you have little ones sometimes) and Cole breaks out singing "Rio" over and over... cracked me up! Then, the Rio song became Caillou (which we no longer let the boys watch because he is bossy and disrespectful - not to mention annoying). These kids crack me up!!

Cole has been such a sweety lately. I just love him to pieces. A couple times this week when he has been very close to getting into something, I said his name an "no" very loudly, to which he started pouting and almost crying, tearing up and sniffling, coming over with his head hung low - the most darling thing ever! Cole "says" a lot, but I don't understand it all - or, sometimes, I'm the only one besides Asher who understands... and often by luck and observation, not due to any real clarity :) Asher has become a pretty good translator.

Cole has started to hum and sing songs a lot more now. Anything he hears on the radio at a store, or songs we sing or songs on shows. He's just starting to pick up on it & mimic  a lot more than before. He's doing simple shaped puzzles and really showing enjoyment in things like reading books and playing with his animal toys. And of course, he often brings 4-8 stuffed animals to bed every night, and you never know which one he will "demand" once he's already in bed. Last night is was the green stuffed pig from Angry Birds - but of course, he always NEEDS his monkey - we don't know how long he would cry without it, we've always found it within half an hour of putting him to bed (knock on wood).

 Just now, Cole took off his shirt all by himself (first time ever) then proceeded to use it to wipe off a long string of drool that landed on his tummy. I tell you, he is the funniest little kid ever. Maybe it's the perpetual look of mischief on his face and his adorable orange & blonde hair, but I find him SO adorable almost all of the time! The other day we went out for a walk and he would say "Ah dee dar," then I would say "You see a car?" and he would reply "yeeeaaah" in the funniest little casual, hilarious, drawn out way possible. It made me laugh out loud at least 5 or 6 times. Plus, the way he dances during credits at the end of a show really cracks me up - especially the half scared-to-death, half having-the-time-of-his-life look on his face is priceless. And last tid-bit, he really hates having his pants off - he always gets really distressed and starts whining "pants" over and over until you explain why he's not wearing any or put some on him. Total opposite from Asher who loves to run across the entire house and fast as he can in just his underwear :)

I've really enjoyed being back home with them. I definitely find running a household a more difficult task than doing short-term missions, but it's one that God is making me better at each day (or at least each month I hope)! Food planning, health issues, dealing with discipline and training... these can get complicated really fast! But, I'm so glad to have two amazing boys who make me  laugh all the time. And I'm so thankful for a husband who is a great dad and can pick up my slack willingly and lovingly. I feel like there is rarely a dull day and rarely a day where I can't find a bunch of reasons why they are all super fun to be around. I'm very blessed and hope that I handle this responsibility with much thankfulness and enthusiasm. I wasn't always happy or excited to be taking care of them, but I'm glad God is changing me into that kind of person - it's WAY better than being grumpy, fearful or ungrateful. If you're in that pit now... trust me, it's better to be out, no matter how much you want to stay that way! You won't regret it!!

Okay, tomorrow, I'm a bit busy with a photo-shoot (as long as the rain holds out) so, no promises on a Thailand post, but I hope so!! Thanks for keeping up - I'll put up a photo of the boys from yesterday in another post here in a minute...

The first few days in Thailand were pretty neat. Simple, learning lots of cultural stuff and information about HIV & AIDS, seeing a bit of the city in person and getting to know our team.

The information we learned about HIV & AIDS was pretty stunning - the life expectancy, the way the virus attacks the body and presents itself & also the hope that medicine has brought to people who have it. I had learned a lot about AIDS from a book my best friend Chelsi had recommended called "There is No Me Without You." I'm still only 2/3 of the way through it, but it's a huge book and a very emotionally intense one at that. Anyway, it was good to gain this information and face the reality of what we (Christians) are doing and not doing in regards to those living with HIV or AIDS.

It's different in the US too. I'm not sure what insurance companies do for those living with AIDS here, but in Thailand you have to be a Thai citizen & then the government will pay for it. However, you have to be born in a hospital to be a Thai citizen, which means if your mother wasn't a Thai citizen and wasn't allowed to travel far enough to get to a hospital, then tough luck! There are over 40,000 births each year that go unregistered - and therefore, over 40,000 new people every year are not Thai citizens. There is a process for becoming a Thai citizen, but again, you need to be able to travel to government offices, sign lots of paperwork, have witnesses who will also travel to government offices, etc. Unless you are very educated (which you wouldn't be unless you were a Thai citizen since you wouldn't have any schooling if you weren't) you would really NEED an advocate to help you navigate all the paperwork and processes needed to become a citizen. It's really strange to realize how a government truly prevents people from moving forward in life, but Thailand is definitely one of the places around the world in which this goes on daily.

Matt came in a spoke with us regarding Human Trafficking on Friday as well. Matt works as one of the directors at Breanna's House of Joy & he is from the same church that all of my team is from. Ben is another person from that church who has ended up working at Breanna's House of Joy as well & he spent most of his time during that week coming with us to villages and everything. These guys are so great. Really on fire for God, serving faithfully and joyfully - they really brought a lot of encouragement and optimism to this group.

Anyway, Matt shared all the horrifying statistics, the sad corruption of government that enables these situations to keep happening, some individual stories and some information about best practices to end exploitation and trafficking. In Thailand alone, 9.4 million people are trafficked each year. And while the sex industry is huge, most of trafficking is simply forced labor! One man was forced to work on a fishing boat off the coast of Thailand for 3 years!! Another woman was a slave in another woman's home, locked up in a tiny bedroom & forced to clean from 5am-10pm almost every day for 16 years!!! But with the lack of education, people don't know their rights, or, since they are not a citizen they don't have hardly any rights, and therefore, they just wait until someone helps them or they finally get desperate enough to attempt escape. This 9.4 million does not count many people who are either killed while trying to escape or people who never confess what they were forced to do (which is VERY common in Thailand - cultural). All of this was incredibly sad to hear and only confirms the depravity we suffer due to our sin nature. It just makes me more glad to serve a God who hates these things and is providing a way out for those who call on Him. We just want more people to realize that He is God, He is powerful & He is worthy to be trusted.

During our first Friday, we also went into town. I have a bunch of photos from that, but I'll post those another day along with more info about what I saw and learned during that time. I feel like I will probably have to blog about 3-5 times per day of my visit! I learned so much, experienced so much and I know that God brought out a lot of things going on inside of me during this time. So, enjoy a few pics - this is the first hotel we stayed at for 3 nights. It is a Christian place where many missionary families come to spend a few weeks during a break or for having a baby - I guess Thai hospitals are very nice and very cheap - think $700 for a c-section :) The picture of the woman is my roommate Angel - more on her later!! Thanks for catching up here - stay tuned every couple days for a new post...

It's great to be back :) I'm so thankful for the experience, for how God is changing me through it and getting to be a part of how God is changing the people in Thailand.

One tidbit about my view of this trip. I was thinking I would be very saddened about the state of poverty in the villages in Thailand. I was really surprised that it didn't bother me. I actually looked at all of it and thought "Okay, I can see how people do this and I could see myself here if I needed to be." I was more sad about the way people dealt with living in poor villages. Sad about how people don't see living righteously with faith in Christ as better than turning to sell drugs to help meet the needs of your family. I was sad to see the lifestyle of careless living (in regards to children peeing on the streets and carelessly dressing & throwing garbage anywhere). I was sad that the villagers do not care for one another or help care for children who are orphaned or living with a grandparent because their parents left. In fact, in Got Pa Bong, one grandfather was in prison for trying to drown his 2 year old grandchild because he did not think he could continue caring for him.

All of these things make me grateful for living in America. Although more people don't consider America a "Christian Nation" anymore, our principles were founded on Christianity and at least most of our laws and moral standards and government assistance programs come from the viewpoint that people are of value and that we should help each other. Our values are similar to Christian values still and I am grateful for the intervention that happens to protect people. Granted, we have a long way to go and we have also strayed a long way. Abortion, drug abuse, physical abuse and gay/lesbian marriage are ways our country does not follow Christ, but I am still grateful for foster-care, for adoption, for the notions of personal rights (not taken to the extreme) and basic assumptions that we should all live somewhere safe from weather and harm, rights to have clean drinking water and programs to assist the hungry and homeless. These DO NOT exist AT ALL in Thailand, much less in northern villages.

So, today, I'm just taking in the things that America has that I am blessed by. It has been so nice to brush my teeth using water from the faucet - such a nice convenience! Also, to be able to drink clean water at any moment I desire, for such a low cost! To be able to trust that the city works daily to provide this for everyone - it's great & it's much more of a blessing and rarity than I realized. I encourage you to think more about the conditions that we have in America that we consider a "right" and learn about the ways other countries handle these things. I think you'll be surprised to find that many of them in many countries are "luxuries," they are things that each individual is responsible to handle themselves.

Here is a photo of a temple in downtown Chiang Mai. So beautiful and ornate. So sad that a huge percentage of the country is deceived into thinking this is how they ensure a good life forever - sacrificing goods and money out of fear of a bad life. I'm so grateful to serve a God who sacrificed for us, not the other way around! In some ways I know God better now, and in other ways He is even farther above my understanding. I'm very blessed to have gotten this opportunity - I'm sure I'll continue to say that forever.

The last Village.

We had a really good day at the village yesterday. I spoke with 3 women in 3 different homes and all were very receptive to Jesus. One woman said she wasn't ready to make a decision so we prayed with her & about 2 minutes later she said "okay, I'm ready to confess & follow Jesus!" It was so cool to be there for that!

The other two women said they believe Jesus & that he is the only way to God, but just kept saying they couldn't decide right then. They were both about as close as you can get to accepting Jesus without actually accepting Him (hope that makes sense)! I am confident that they both will soon - one of them came to the church service at night!

This village was so different from Got Pa Bong. I was mostly talking with people from the Karen tribe (a northern Thai tribe) & none had fully heard the story of Jesus. I wonder how many more there are in that village! My teammate Jerek had met with a family & had felt like they were hopeless - he felt like they were offended by him but they still showed up to the evening service too! You can tell that many people there desire to know the truth & are looking for more than just a better life.

I have been so blessed by my translator this week as well (her name is Ratana). She is so devoted to God, has great intuition about people & what they need to hear, she was always looking for ways to help me & never tried to just say what she wanted instead of what I was saying. People just love her too! Most people were receptive to her, opened up easily & often invited her for lunch. She encouraged me multiple times when I was despairing for Got Pa Bong - I cannot say enough good things about her! She also let me use her phone to call my husband, shared Thai goodies with me & gave me a foot massage... I wish you all could meet her :)

Today, we'll be doing some debriefing, riding elephants & get settled in Chiang Mai for a couple more days. Crazy that our village time is done. I enjoyed it thoroughly! While being there from 10am-8pm was not my favorite thing, I could see myself doing something like this long term or maybe just often. I felt some of my gifts in discernment & teaching were very helpful & also confirmed by others who have only just met me. God has done such a work here in these villages & with all of us - I'm about ready to sign up on another trip!!

Thanks again for all your prayers & for the encouraging emails! You'll never fully understand how they have all been perfectly timed & so dear to me. I'll be home in a few days & can't wait to write more about all I've seen & heard here in Thailand. Praise God for all He does.

Today was far more encouraging than yesterday :) It helped to get so many encouraging words from all of you - thanks for that!

Several men in the village confessed to struggling with addiction & asked some great questions about sin & the Christian life. I'm blessed to be a part of it & thankful that their salvation is not left in my hands... I felt much more able to leave that up to God today.

Well, I'm exhausted, so I'm heading to bed! Keep praying for our last 2.5 days here in the village. Thank you!

So, today was our second day at the village but our first real day of "work." Hmm, what to share?

I had some great discussions with my group of people in the morning. It was me, my translator & about 8-10 people from the village. We talked about loving God with all your mind, strength & soul, the Saduccees & Pharisees, the story of Joseph, the problems of the village & dealing with sin in each others lives. We talked for about 3 hours! I hope that it is really fruitful in their lives.

The locals asked us to stay for lunch & my translator gave me the go-ahead, so I joined in despite having packed a lunch. It was DELICIOUS!!! Later, I found out that it wasn't chicken, but monkey... hmmm... still not sure how I should react! I'm still feeling healthy so far :)

The afternoon was pretty uneventful. Chatting with the kids & our translators, playing/watching some pickup volleyball, more sitting trying to stay out of the rain. After dinner (another local meal, but less tasty & less suspicious meat) we each had one home to go to & share the gospel. This was definitely the sad part of the evening.

This family had only the elder mother as a believer & her daughter-in-law was visibly very ill. Very, very ill. No one was too impressed with the story of salvation. One man asked why if God loves us, he would send us out of the garden for eating one piece of fruit. I explained that it wasn't the fruit, but the content of our heart & their response was "eh, oh well." So sad. Clearly they are not at the place of accepting, but hopefully what they heard sticks with them.

I also shared the hope cube that has information about HIV & AIDS. I was later informed that this girl has indeed tested positive but since she was not born in a Thai hospital, that does not give her citizenship & thus, she cannot get ARV medicine. I really am begging God that she would see the hope there is in Christ before it's too late.

While this village has electricity, it is still very poor. Homes with spaces between every board, lots of drug usage & selling, broken homes, fathers in jail, children without parents & Christians who lack motivation to share Jesus with their unsaved friends. I desperately hope that God changes this village soon, they need it.

I don't really have any closing thoughts... we'll see how tomorrow goes! Hoping for a day with a little more encouragement. I know Jesus can save, but I'm very scared of how long depravity might rule here. Today was the day I've most desired for Jesus to come right now. I'm sure the next few months of my life will include a lot of praying & processing all this. But still, I'm very grateful to be here despite the spiritual challenges. Thanks for your prayers!

Like these photos? Apparently, my arms don't do well with volleyball anymore :( It's not super painful & it actually kooks pretty cool. My other arm has the same looking blood blisters but no major bruising.

Today was incredible! Sweaty, but incredible. We started off with team devotions reading Acts 4. We did some discussion at the "hotel" and then finished up while we were riding to Breanna's House of Joy (BHJ). It was really neat to just converse about how God worked through the early church & how He works now, realizing he desires us to have the same boldness, humility & generous hearts as the early believers. There's something so special about getting to share with other believers - especially believers I don't know well, since I feel more able to listen without judging or prejudice (something God has been working out of me).

When we got to BHJ some of our guys started working on the patio while the other few plus us girls started playing volleyball & soccer, attempting to engage the young girls. It was a very hot day so not many were too interested. But, a few girls were dancing & listening to music, so I went over, watched a little & asked one of the house-parents to translate for me. Several of the girls were more than willing for me to teach a little ballet!! It was very fun! They even performed a dance for us that they had been working on!! So sweet :)

Lunch was delicious! I am loving Thai food even more than before I came here!! I got to chat with 2 other house parents who are native to the United States. I was so blessed to hear about their travels & where God has been using them the last 20 years.

After lunch we got to work on the patio some more. We got to sit through 20 min of POURING rain, watch & listen to thunder & lightning & thoroughly enjoyed watching some of the very young girls play in the huge puddles & sand. We got a good portion of the patio set, but did not have enough pavers or time to finish it all.

After that, Matt (former young adult pastor of the Woodland Park church where all of my group is from) took us to an amazing coffee shop. I had a Thai iced tea which was delicious & crazy cheap! Super close to the ones I get from Thai Country in McMinnville :) I feel so blessed to be slowly acclimated into this mission trip life - some are far more strenuous & tiring! I'm sure I'll be tired by the end of the week, so I'm thankful for the slow start.

On the way home, I started noticing how almost every home had a "spirit house" somewhere in front, decorated a put on a pedestal. It's sad to find that about 90% of this country is blinded & deceived into thinking that appeasing tiny gods who have no home & can't even open their own foods will gain them eternal happiness. Or actually, in Buddhisim, Nirvana is nothingness - no pain, no joy, just nothing. How does a person live their life serving something completely invisible in hopes of having such mediocrity?

It makes me very grateful to know God & look forward to His promises but also very scared & sad for this country. Satan is doing a terrible work here & he needs to be stopped. Please pray that God would go before us & prepare people, to make them ready to hear the truth & ready to question what they've been told about their powerless gods.

There's so much more I want to share! About my teammates, about Kenneth with SIM who shared about HIV & AIDS, Matt & the trafficking issue... so much to say!!! And DO! Stay tuned & maybe I can update again tomorrow :)

Today has been good. We started the day off with some trainings on HIV & the hope cube, human trafficking and some general cultural information. After lunch we did some wandering & my little group got to share Jesus with a Buddhist man. I pray God uses our words to impact him & reveal the truth.

We ended our time downtown at Starbucks! Yay!! The weather is nice, hot & humid. Not terrible tho, just sticky. We're going to have dinner soon, hit the outdoor pool & do some sports training. Tomorrow we'll help put in a cement patio at Breanna's House of joy... cannot wait! I'm adjusting to the time change really well & am feeling good :) Thanks for your prayers - here's a pic of Starbucks in Chiang Mai!

Here are some of the members of my team: Jarrod, Angel, Kristen, Chad & the ever affectionate Jerek. Nate & Stephen are already in Thailand getting things settled for our week there. I'm now on a plane, just about to take off for Seoul, North Korea! Good times :)

Here I am! I made it this far!! And I'm not throwing up, whew!

I'm actually really excited to go. I was too sick yesterday & last night to feel excited, but after deciding not to take the Malaria pills, I am feeling on the upswing & ready to enjoy this time. I feel so honored to get to do this - I certainly don't deserve it, but I'm going to make sure & really enjoy it!

Pray for continued health, travel safety & great bonding time with my team. Stay tuned tomorrow!

As my trip to Thailand fast approaches, it has been very difficult to gather my thoughts. Several people have asked me if I am excited... and I've said "Eh, not yet." Not because I am not actually excited, but I am not currently "feeling" excited. I think if you are a woman, you probably understand the frequency of emotions you feel not being reality :)

I have many things to set in order before I go. I still have many activities to attend & serve at, or be served to - including: speaking at a prayer summit, having a prayer time with our church's women's leadership, date night with Mark, date (and shopping) night with Kristi, meal preparation for while I am gone, having guests over for dinner, photo day with Dar, finishing organizing my babysitting help list, possible photo shoot for a wonderful family - yeah, it's a little crazy. But, one by one, things are getting knocked off the list.

I have almost everything I need. Well, I say that and am reminded that as long as I have Jesus, I have everything I need. It will be very humbling to try and tell desperately poor people that Jesus is all they need, when I often complain at home about not having what I need. But, in all honesty, I complain because things are not how I would prefer them, not because things don't work according to God's plan. So, on my trip, I will often be attempting to remind myself that I have Jesus and God's plan is being played out in my life, therefore, NO REASON TO FRET! I desperately want to trust Him more. And not just say that I trust, but feel that relaxed feeling of truly knowing He is in control for His good purposes to come about.

I was so blessed to hear the Word preached at our church this week. It was from Titus. God really encouraged me that I am on His path and to not let my desire to do more for Him get me discouraged, but to trust that it means I am following Him. I really felt humbled and blessed that He would encourage me in this way - it's a daily struggle for me to combat being drawn into the world and desiring earthly treasures. I just need to keep taking deep breaths and praying for His goodness to sink down into my heart.

I am excited to go. I'm nervous about the heat (I'm such a wimp, but I get so sweaty!!) even though it is really only going to be around 80 degrees and 80% humidity. :) Told you, wimp! I know that once I can see what it's like, it will be easier for me. I don't like to go into things without knowing what it will be like - this is the same reason why I generally despise buffets... too much unknown without instruction. But, this is not a buffet, and God knows everything and He will tell me what I need to know exactly when I need to know it.

You can pray that I can get everything lined up for my husband and children smoothly. I don't want to be a basket-case the week before I leave! Pray that the people in Thailand would see God clearly and see their need for Him. Pray that as people turn to Jesus, He would truly transform them and give them a desire to serve and grow in faith. I will have my cell phone with me, so I will try to post pictures and write about how the trip is going... no promises tho, you know me! Thanks for all your prayers so far - I'll be writing again soon!!

Summer what not what I expected. In fact, I'm having trouble recalling what I even did all summer!! I know I was tired for a lot of it. I suppose I could look back at my calendar and try to piece together the weeks. My back problem was definitely flaring up and I think that causes a lot of the fatigue. Mark's work has been busy, unable to predict, made us a little on-edge a good part of the summer and so that combination, with having 2 young boys, I didn't do much of what I hoped. I had planned on painting a bathroom, stripping and painting a wooden chest I have, putting up coat-racks and shelves... yeah, none of that happened. I had also really hoped to get to the track at least twice a week and put in some good workouts, play tennis or go jogging in the evenings with Mark once a week... yeah, neither of those things happened either. I found that it is very difficult to spend time exerting yourself when you are exhausted at least 5 days of the week.

So, I don't have a ton of fond memories of what I did for myself this summer. However, I did read some great books, knit a few blankets (including one that I had been working on FOREVER!), went to my HS 10yr reunion (part of it), went to the Zoo with the family, went to the beach with the family, went to Saturday Market a few times with the family... we did lots of little things. Overall, I'm a bit disappointed in myself, but I hope to learn from it. I can't let my lack of motivation turn into lack of doing. I have to trust that if I keep at something it will be easier to continue and grow in it.

I want to make some goals for the last bit of the year, and since Mark and I are heading out of town without the boys this weekend I should get to do it! We're going to Hood River to enjoy some quiet time, sleep, pizza, beer, maybe some yummy baked goods - it's long overdue! And I really look forward to being able to share with my husband the things we've learned this year and kind of come to a consensus on where we want to go and start a plan (written in pencil since things change so fast) on how to accomplish those things. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on anything major :)

My trip to Thailand is coming up, less than 3 weeks out! I'm mostly ready I think. I have a few more packing details to take care of, get some meals planned out, get some daycare lined up and finish some studying. I think it's going to be amazing! More details on that next week - I think I'll try and promise that one, k? Thanks for keeping up with me despite my lack of keeping you up to date! Happy weekend everyone!!

I love these two boys and can't imagine how boring my life would be without them :)

I read this great article today. I found it off of femina.com, a Christian woman's blog. She writes a lot of great stuff, but this article is actually by Joshua Harris. Anyway, if you are a Christian parent, or if you plan on homeschooling, it's a must-read! So much great encouragement about what God desires us to be for our kids and do for them. It's mainly about the idea of not sheltering, but building up in preparation for the attack from the world. Yes, there are times and seasons of sheltering, but not complete holing-up without explaining any rhyme or reason, and certainly not at the expense of your children knowing that you not only love them, but like them.

Anyway, take a look! You won't regret it.

http://www.joshharris.com/2011/09/homeschool_blindspots.php

I cannot escape all the pains of people I know who are suffering right now. In fact, as I go to pray for these individuals, I can barely concentrate on words to say because I recognize that I only feel an ounce of their pain. I have 4 individuals/families on my mind most recently, all enduring extremely difficult circumstances. I am going to keep them anonymous on here, though many of you may know them well.

Family/Single Mother#1 - Has 4 children. 3 of her children were adopted from a relative and she doesn't not know the scope to which abuse may have occurred. Neglect was certainly prevalent. Child #3 is a boy (about age 10) and is experiencing major challenges in obedience, self-control, using hurtful words - in all of this I mean that he is freaking out over doing simple chores or tasks, throwing objects while kicking & screaming in "time-out" in his bedroom and saying mean things to his mother. His father (this woman's husband) left the family about 3 years ago and you can see that this young boy is really struggling. He is very sweet but also has some issues with appropriate attachment. He behaves SUPREMELY in front of most male adults, but has a different spirit when alone with his family. Pray that he will see the love of God and desire to be loved and love others too.

Family #2 - Young married couple with 2 children found their youngest (a boy) growing sick last week. Long story short, after super scary side affects and a risky surgery, they found that he has a form of Leukemia. It is a very treatable form, but still, for a 6 week old baby to undergo chemo and dialysis... well, they needs lots of prayer. Their oldest is just over 2 and is well taken care of by her grandparents during this time, along with visits to mommy & daddy. The parents love the Lord and are encouraged to have an answer for his illness. However, they have a long road ahead of them as their boy will have quite the physical trial to overcome.

Family #3 - These parents lost their firstborn baby at full-term with no real explanation. Their child was born and was unable to breath on her own but no tests ever came back conclusive as to why. This couple also loves the Lord and trusts in His strength and they will soon be welcoming a baby boy! Pray for them to have peace, that their little boy would be born with full health and plenty of crying & vigor! Pray for the mama to really have God's inexplainable peace enter her heart so she can relax and be joyful in the expectation of their son.

Family #4 - I do not actually know this family at all. They are known by a good friend of mine. This family had a young daughter who was found to have a rare kind of bone cancer. During her process of chemo and surgeries, the young boy in the adjoining room was pressed upon the family's heart. It turned out, he was almost the same age and had the same exact type of cancer. The family noticed that the boy rarely had visitors and came to find that he was in foster care, but that his foster parents could not care for him much longer. The family adopted the young boy and both children grew healthily - for a while. (This family does have several other healthy children as well.) Several years passed and the young brother fit in perfectly with this family. He also came to know Christ as his savior. However, in the last year his bone pains came back and the cancer had been found to spread throughout his body, into his lungs and he passed away this morning. Pray for this family, that they would be blessed to have brought this child into their home and been people who lead him to the Lord. Ask God to ease their pain and bring them peace, being joyful knowing that their son is no longer suffering.


This week, I have a much better perspective on the world we live in and the God I serve. I am seeing that God's range of emotions are so much wider than mine and it brings me to tears to even fathom the depth of pain He feels for people who are hurting. It has also made me recognize that His emotions regarding my sin and disobedience are probably more painful than I recognize too. It has made me see that there is not much greater joy than to assist in relieving the hurts of those I know. I see that only God can truly wipe away tears and I am moved beyond words to think about how amazing it will be when He does that permanently. I truly cannot comprehend what that will be like! I see too, that there are people EVERYWHERE hurting, all hours of the day around the world. I am frightened a bit thinking that I will likely witness much of this while in Thailand. I'm not sure how I will keep myself from bringing hurting children home with me on that airplane or from crying during most of my trip.

All this to say, please pray for these families. And please, recognize the hurt around you and know that God will bless your efforts to help those people. He desires His love to be known, and He can do that through us! I desperately want to be a part of that because then, I will really see God in motion and there's nothing else that is better in life than that.

Fun fun fun! There is simply too much to tell! Here are some pics from one of our days in Minnesota - unfortunately, I did a terrible job at taking pics! It can be kind of exhausting to try and take pictures all day while trying to take care of your little one :) Still, I got these pics from a park in Minneapolis. They had this awesome water feature plus a playground - the slides at that playground were like rockets! I literally had to catch Cole flying through the air too b/c the slides ended about 2 feet above the ground... it was fun tho :) Here are some of the water pics...








Next up, Cole's Birthday party! We held it at a newer park in town & it was a blast. We brought Gma & Gpa's basketball hoop to let the kids make hoops and gave them some candy for participating. Cole just loves basketball so we did a whole sports theme! He was the most cheerful kid ever! Especially while opening gifts - he looked completely overjoyed with each present he got. He sure is adorable! Here are some pics from that!

This is Asher this morning at our front door. He was rather disappointed to find that after chewing on his Lightning for about 15 min that it was all messed up. He did the same thing yesterday with a popsicle stick... hopefully that lesson will sink in :) Good morning from us!

Okay, I know I just posted on my bible blog, but as I was weeding through computer files I came upon these from Cole's first birthday... so sweet, I had to share :)