Whoa, what a whirlwind! In case you didn't know, I have A LOT going on right now. Miraculously, God has provided me with what I need. Not always what I want, but what I need!
Track has been going incredibly well! While I feel pretty capable in the realm of knowing how to fix technique and help jumpers be better in general, much of the time I feel very incapable. I'm realizing that there is SO much more to learn about running form, muscles, training practices (mainly, knowing what intervals and training produces what effects) and muscle recovery... I feel like I am a little bit in over my head. But, I'm not feeling down really, just realizing that this season and during the break between seasons, I will be stuffing my head with lots of athletic and muscular knowledge. I'm looking forward to it tho!
The other thing about track that has been hard has been dealing with my regret. This is an issue I thought I had worked through a few years ago, and I knew going into this season that it would likely pop it's head up and require me to deal with it more fully. I was really good at this track thing. I'm naturally athletic and have amazing muscle recovery. I stink at running long distances, but I can jump all day long and not get tired. So, seeing some of my talented athletes has brought up this issue of competing again. It has been a bit more difficult to deal with b/c I am older, my back is still having weird things going on that are still un-diagnosed but for some reason, I still really want to be in shape and compete. This makes my head spin! For a number of reasons...
1 - is it what God wants? I mean, I had a choice, and years ago, I chose to be a slacker and do the easy thing... easy for me at least, cave into pursuing the typical American Christian life-style - not bad for everyone, but sometimes I wonder if it was the best idea.
2 - if I know that there are starving people across the globe that need to see God's love, can I really pursue competing whole-heartedly? I never think badly of those that do, but can I?
3 - physically, can I even do it? Obviously, if it's God's will and I follow through, yes, I can. But with my back falling apart and my fatigue getting the best of me many days... well, maybe it just isn't/wasn't meant to be?
4 - maybe I could have done it 7 years ago, but now I've missed the boat and this life is now a re-write... but let me say, I know that this is false... I think ;) God knew what I was going to do and what I am going to do, I don't have to let regret get the best of me b/c He doesn't have a plan B, just in case I don't end up doing what He would have preferred. If I trust that He is guiding me and I continue to pursue Him and His interests, I can trust that if I am never a track star, it wasn't meant to be. Yes? Yes, I will keep trying to tell myself yes.
Anyway, with being at practice and loving it so much, I'm just struggling with all of this. I'd like to think that my gifting glorifies God, I know it has in the past. And if I want to try again, I can try, trusting fully that God will accomplish His purpose through it, I just love it so much sometimes that it feels wrong to do it when I might serve the Lord elsewhere. Hmm. Well, now you know what goes through my head on and off. It's not resolved, and that drives me crazy! But more importantly, I must remember, that the most important thing has been resolved... Christ has conquered sin and death! I don't know if I will regret not using this gift or not... I already kinda do, but b/c of my own desires, or b/c of God's? Feel free to pray for me about this as much as you want :) I'll take any prayers I can get!!
With Tracy's wedding coming up (March 12th) I've been pretty busy testing out recipes for her bridal shower, designing invitations for the wedding and the bridal shower, finding/coordinating the right candlestick holders and testing out painting them, planning Asher's outfit for being the ring-bearer... you get the picture! Then, our Women's retreat is February 25th-27th and I'm doing a lot of design stuff for that plus operating the powerpoint during worship and possibly our sessions. I will also be helping with MC'ing a little so planning all that has really begun. Then, track meets start on March 5th (no meet March 12th thankfully) and we have a meet every Saturday until mid-May, but I am really looking forward to that part! And lastly, Mark's parents are having new counter-tops put into our kitchen upstairs this week... so no sink, counters, stove use-age until about Thursday... fun! Mark's parents will be helping us with dinners until then and I'll be doing who knows what about breakfasts and lunches... it's only 4 days tho, and I'm sure I'll survive. Plus, they are putting in a beautiful tile that is a through-body color, so the edges will be beautifully polished and shiny... and the glass accents that will be on the backsplash will look amazing... can't wait!
Okay, lastly, and update on Mark and the boys!
Cole - saying lots of words now! Shoes, read books, more, milk, all done, go, mama (still working on papa tho), bite, Asher, home, get it, poo poo, bum, ready, bath, bye, ball, fooball (football), fruit, waffle, fruit bar and then lots of gibberish that we have yet to figure out! He also says "eee" when we brush his teeth and will make the cutest, cheesiest grin ever when you smile really big at him. I need to capture it will my real camera someday, it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. He got another haircut and screamed for the entire 5 mins. We took him to great clips since I couldn't see how Mark and I would hold him down while he was screaming and kicking and do the cutting at the same time... it was eventful enough while at the "haircut store" as Asher says.
Asher - talking in complete sentences all the time! He has phrases that crack me up b/c of when and how he says them like "But I really want to..." "what'd you say?" "Crackin' you up papa/mama." He also tells us about his dreams aka movies in his sleep. Today was a first... we were asking him about how time in the nursery was and finally he answered "I don't really want to talk about it." Sad!! I thought boys didn't clam up like that until school-age at least!! Oh well, at least I knew it was coming :) Asher has become a pro at navigating Netflix on my computer (always supervised of course). But he can click from the ending of one show, back to browsing, find another show he wants to watch and make it full screen using my wireless mouse... yeah, mini-Mark in the making. Ash has come with me to a couple practices so far and does really well. He usually kicks a ball around on the field or just plays on my phone and watches the jumpers do their thing... maybe next year Cole will be old enough to bring too!
Mark - they have gotten a pretty good response for their latest app "iamDrums." It's pretty awesome, so you need to go buy it and tell all your friends! They are getting close to releasing another app called "iamRingTones" where you use their loops to create your own ringtones!! It's something lots of people have requested - to be able to make a ringtone from their apps. I hope that it will be a huge hit and help these guys feel like their efforts are paying off. Well, they are paying anyway, but it's always great to see something you created be really popular! Besides work, Mark spends a lot of time helping me with the boys, watching them 2 of the days I am gone in the afternoon at track practice. I don't know what I would do without him! I do need to get better at giving Mark and break tho, he goes out in the evenings sometimes with Dave Barnhart, but who couldn't stand to go get away from responsibilities more often ;)
Well, if you made it this far in my post, I congratulate you! It was a long one, sorry!! But, now you know what's going on and I feel accomplished for actually blogging ;) One last update, we got approved for health insurance starting February 1st!! So thankful we can afford it (for the time being) and to have a plan for taking care of some medical things for all of us... including trips to the dentist which ought to be loads of fun!! Love you all, bye!
Track has been going incredibly well! While I feel pretty capable in the realm of knowing how to fix technique and help jumpers be better in general, much of the time I feel very incapable. I'm realizing that there is SO much more to learn about running form, muscles, training practices (mainly, knowing what intervals and training produces what effects) and muscle recovery... I feel like I am a little bit in over my head. But, I'm not feeling down really, just realizing that this season and during the break between seasons, I will be stuffing my head with lots of athletic and muscular knowledge. I'm looking forward to it tho!
The other thing about track that has been hard has been dealing with my regret. This is an issue I thought I had worked through a few years ago, and I knew going into this season that it would likely pop it's head up and require me to deal with it more fully. I was really good at this track thing. I'm naturally athletic and have amazing muscle recovery. I stink at running long distances, but I can jump all day long and not get tired. So, seeing some of my talented athletes has brought up this issue of competing again. It has been a bit more difficult to deal with b/c I am older, my back is still having weird things going on that are still un-diagnosed but for some reason, I still really want to be in shape and compete. This makes my head spin! For a number of reasons...
1 - is it what God wants? I mean, I had a choice, and years ago, I chose to be a slacker and do the easy thing... easy for me at least, cave into pursuing the typical American Christian life-style - not bad for everyone, but sometimes I wonder if it was the best idea.
2 - if I know that there are starving people across the globe that need to see God's love, can I really pursue competing whole-heartedly? I never think badly of those that do, but can I?
3 - physically, can I even do it? Obviously, if it's God's will and I follow through, yes, I can. But with my back falling apart and my fatigue getting the best of me many days... well, maybe it just isn't/wasn't meant to be?
4 - maybe I could have done it 7 years ago, but now I've missed the boat and this life is now a re-write... but let me say, I know that this is false... I think ;) God knew what I was going to do and what I am going to do, I don't have to let regret get the best of me b/c He doesn't have a plan B, just in case I don't end up doing what He would have preferred. If I trust that He is guiding me and I continue to pursue Him and His interests, I can trust that if I am never a track star, it wasn't meant to be. Yes? Yes, I will keep trying to tell myself yes.
Anyway, with being at practice and loving it so much, I'm just struggling with all of this. I'd like to think that my gifting glorifies God, I know it has in the past. And if I want to try again, I can try, trusting fully that God will accomplish His purpose through it, I just love it so much sometimes that it feels wrong to do it when I might serve the Lord elsewhere. Hmm. Well, now you know what goes through my head on and off. It's not resolved, and that drives me crazy! But more importantly, I must remember, that the most important thing has been resolved... Christ has conquered sin and death! I don't know if I will regret not using this gift or not... I already kinda do, but b/c of my own desires, or b/c of God's? Feel free to pray for me about this as much as you want :) I'll take any prayers I can get!!
With Tracy's wedding coming up (March 12th) I've been pretty busy testing out recipes for her bridal shower, designing invitations for the wedding and the bridal shower, finding/coordinating the right candlestick holders and testing out painting them, planning Asher's outfit for being the ring-bearer... you get the picture! Then, our Women's retreat is February 25th-27th and I'm doing a lot of design stuff for that plus operating the powerpoint during worship and possibly our sessions. I will also be helping with MC'ing a little so planning all that has really begun. Then, track meets start on March 5th (no meet March 12th thankfully) and we have a meet every Saturday until mid-May, but I am really looking forward to that part! And lastly, Mark's parents are having new counter-tops put into our kitchen upstairs this week... so no sink, counters, stove use-age until about Thursday... fun! Mark's parents will be helping us with dinners until then and I'll be doing who knows what about breakfasts and lunches... it's only 4 days tho, and I'm sure I'll survive. Plus, they are putting in a beautiful tile that is a through-body color, so the edges will be beautifully polished and shiny... and the glass accents that will be on the backsplash will look amazing... can't wait!
Okay, lastly, and update on Mark and the boys!
Cole - saying lots of words now! Shoes, read books, more, milk, all done, go, mama (still working on papa tho), bite, Asher, home, get it, poo poo, bum, ready, bath, bye, ball, fooball (football), fruit, waffle, fruit bar and then lots of gibberish that we have yet to figure out! He also says "eee" when we brush his teeth and will make the cutest, cheesiest grin ever when you smile really big at him. I need to capture it will my real camera someday, it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. He got another haircut and screamed for the entire 5 mins. We took him to great clips since I couldn't see how Mark and I would hold him down while he was screaming and kicking and do the cutting at the same time... it was eventful enough while at the "haircut store" as Asher says.
Asher - talking in complete sentences all the time! He has phrases that crack me up b/c of when and how he says them like "But I really want to..." "what'd you say?" "Crackin' you up papa/mama." He also tells us about his dreams aka movies in his sleep. Today was a first... we were asking him about how time in the nursery was and finally he answered "I don't really want to talk about it." Sad!! I thought boys didn't clam up like that until school-age at least!! Oh well, at least I knew it was coming :) Asher has become a pro at navigating Netflix on my computer (always supervised of course). But he can click from the ending of one show, back to browsing, find another show he wants to watch and make it full screen using my wireless mouse... yeah, mini-Mark in the making. Ash has come with me to a couple practices so far and does really well. He usually kicks a ball around on the field or just plays on my phone and watches the jumpers do their thing... maybe next year Cole will be old enough to bring too!
Mark - they have gotten a pretty good response for their latest app "iamDrums." It's pretty awesome, so you need to go buy it and tell all your friends! They are getting close to releasing another app called "iamRingTones" where you use their loops to create your own ringtones!! It's something lots of people have requested - to be able to make a ringtone from their apps. I hope that it will be a huge hit and help these guys feel like their efforts are paying off. Well, they are paying anyway, but it's always great to see something you created be really popular! Besides work, Mark spends a lot of time helping me with the boys, watching them 2 of the days I am gone in the afternoon at track practice. I don't know what I would do without him! I do need to get better at giving Mark and break tho, he goes out in the evenings sometimes with Dave Barnhart, but who couldn't stand to go get away from responsibilities more often ;)
Well, if you made it this far in my post, I congratulate you! It was a long one, sorry!! But, now you know what's going on and I feel accomplished for actually blogging ;) One last update, we got approved for health insurance starting February 1st!! So thankful we can afford it (for the time being) and to have a plan for taking care of some medical things for all of us... including trips to the dentist which ought to be loads of fun!! Love you all, bye!
