The Armstrong 5

Seriously, I feel like my insides are heavy. There have been so many things going on lately that my mind has not had the time to process all of it. From abused children, homeless teens who are evidence of a sad world, children killed, religion manipulated, changes in life, exhaustion, decisions…. So many things to think about.

I have been feeling a burning inside to share more of my thoughts… though not all on here. But maybe? Yet another thing to think & decide upon… does it seem like I am excited about that?? I am SO bad at decisions. Well today, I am going to share about our most recent decision!

When we were looking into school options for Asher last year, we had found a school in PDX that is a public charter, French immersion school. Considering that my husband is fluent & that I am striving to be, this was SO exciting to me. We applied (past the deadline) but never got in. We decided to apply again this year, despite my passion to homeschool using a classical method. Cole was 70th on the wait list, and Asher was somewhere around 45th. We knew that if the boys got in, it would be the Lord's doing.

About a month ago, we got an email from the school saying they had a lot of movement in their Kindergarten class & wanted to know if we would like to stay on the wait list. We decided yes, last minute, just because Hey! Who knows? Well, 2 weeks later, what do you know, they had a spot for Cole! After talking with friends, each other, praying & trying to decipher what was best, we decided to enroll him. Then, we found out there was a fee for the all day Kindergarten (which is the only option & was more than other private schools we had looked at) and started the deliberation process all over again. All day Kindergarten when our little man had only just turned 5 was not something we thought we'd ever do. But, we decided it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. We'd continue to homeschool Asher & hope that a spot would open for him as well.

Lo & behold, the next day, they had room for Asher! I had prayed for that very thing the day before, and we were excited to be able to send them together.

The first couple days were fine. The school was not fabulous with communication. Then, we had sickness with 1 kid, then 2, then none, then 1 again, 2 again, and finally, 3 days in a row of school! So, after 2 weeks, here's what we saw….

1 - Asher was struggling big time. Attitude, tears, emotions. Every day - morning, noon & night, literally. This week, we discovered there were occasional tears in class as well.
2 - Driving for 30min in traffic to transport your children 3 miles is infuriating!
3 - Paying for parking to pick up & drop off your children is annoying.
4 - Full language immersion is tough, but also kinda fun… especially if you have people at home who can help practice (we have 3 fluent adults!)
5 - It really stinks when they are sick, b/c you have NO clue what they missed, what they should have been taught, and no way to make that aspect of the classroom experience up.
6 - I really love teaching my kids. And 6.5hrs a day is TOO long for me to not see them.
7 - I am still just as crabby having not seen them all day - I'm just more stressed in the morning, and slightly more rushed in the afternoons.
8 - I hate making lunches every day.
9 - I believe the Classical Method is likely the most effective way to teach children.


I tried to find 10 things to list… but my brain is gone & so 9 is all you are going to get.

Overall, the school experience was not terrible. I had thought about this before & was convicted of it again: when I spend time with just the 2 boys, it is a no-brainer, I would prefer to homeschool over any other option. Jovi is the 1 element that makes it undesirable… she is demanding, unpredictable, often unruly & makes most tasks around the home far more difficult to accomplish. But, I cannot bypass my desires & convictions based on the fact that my 1.5yr old is challenging.

The biggest determining factors in deciding to take them back out of school were these: Asher's constant and drastic distress, and not knowing what exactly the kids were learning each day… leading into not being sure if teachers are teaching in a way that I desire for my kids to learn. Add to that the fact that God is not talked about with them from 8:30am-3:30pm, and we just could not do it. Both boys were asking to stay home each day (Asher was begging with tears) and I truly wanted to grant them that.

When I began Asher's first math lesson back home, he had trouble with a certain "math fact" that he used to know & have memorized. He was struggling with trying to count on his fingers when the answer was higher than 10. I asked him why he was frustrated & reminded him that he knew the answer… "It's a doubles-plus-1 fact bud, you know how to solve that." And voila! Back to the calm, capable & confident kid he was before his experience in school.

I know Immersion is rough & can take time, but we did not feel it was a necessary step for us to push him SO far past his comfort zone & risk killing something inside of him to pursue it. He is sensitive & going through some definite boundary testing… we want to be there to help him through things, not just observe his life & have a few hours a day to try & get whatever else he needs put into him. Cole was doing pretty well, he's so easy-going & enjoys being with people, whether he knows them or not. But we wanted to have both boys on the same page. And we are truly glad for the experience. It has solidified some things in my mind, given me perspective on the challenges of having your children in school & helped me to align my priorities.

So yeah, that's been the last 3 weeks of our lives! Eesh. I hate making big decisions & then feeling like I have to justify them. And it's really hard to choose between 2 things that both have amazing benefits! All of this is to keep you in the loop, and ultimately, I am accountable to God for my choices… I hope to please Him & honor Him in all these things - public, private or home schooled! We are back at CC (Classical Conversations) & catching up where we left off with homeschooling, and we are glad about it. There are definitely challenges & sacrifices, but it is a sharpening process & I need that desperately.

There you have it for now! Hopefully I can keep up on this blog a bit better… oh the wishful thinking!!! I'm not ready to commit to it yet, but feel like I'm getting closer ;) Here are some recent pics of the kiddos for your viewing pleasure…

So, we bought a house! Finally!!

We close May 9th & will move in after that (duh). We are pretty excited. We've been looking for what feels like forever. Mark's parents will be living in their own apartment-style area downstairs, and we will have the top 2 floors. It's a beautiful home - newly remodeled, very up-to-date, but also a bit smaller than what we were hoping for. It's also a little ways further from the church than what we dreamed, but it's still WAY closer than we are now, and we are sure that God will have families in our neighborhood for us to reach out to. I will make sure to post pictures… eventually :P

Lately, my days have consisted of cleaning, packing, consoling a crying baby, feeding hungry children, repeat. Yeah, such a glamorous life! I'm trying to find the fun & blessing in it, but it can be downright disheartening. It's a good thing I have an incredible husband & amazing best friend, who constantly encourage me to look to Jesus & trust Him for this stage of life & for purpose. Honestly, I know in my head that being an example for my children of a woman who joyfully trusts Jesus whole-heartedly is the most important thing. But it feels SO hard most days. So boring. And then I feel guilty because I know that living for Jesus shouldn't feel "boring," but that I am the one making it boring because I don't understand the awesomeness of God the way I should. My prayer is that I would understand Him in a way that really changes me, a way that shows my children He is real, loving, just & true.

I've been reading in Acts lately & it's tremendously eye-opening. It's incredible to see the first followers of Jesus & what their life was like. It's weird to think of what it means for me, and convicting because I feel on a completely different page than they were. Yes, there are many cultural differences, and yes, the church was in a totally different stage of growth, but I know that I am still not where I should be. If God's kingdom was/is so important, what in the world am I spending my time worrying for? Seriously. What am I even doing? But then the baby cries, my exhaustion rears its head & I don't even have time to make coffee without a small person interrupting me for something. Then I read in Acts again the next day & remember that I forgot that I was supposed to be thinking about all of this again!

I know, this stage of life is hard. I've not had more than 4hrs of solid sleep in ages. At least I had a few nights on our vacation! But seriously, I don't want to let the chaos & demands of this "baby stage" deplete my understanding of the role I have in God's kingdom. I want to be so convinced in what I am doing, that sleep deprivation, nightly (and often daily) torture, chores that never end, and anything else that life throws my way, won't deter me from telling people about Jesus. But how… when… and how again??

These are the things I am working through. I'd love to hear from you, links on great books or articles, words of encouragement, ideas on sharing the gospel with my (from my perspective) limited sphere of influence… Not that I have all this spare time to read it,  but I will try!

Thanks again for tuning into my brain & fingertips for a bit. I do look forward to days when I have a bit more spare time, but I also am enjoying the stage of carefree idea-sharing & giggles that my kids are in. Even through the exhaustion, there are too many funny things that happen and are said each day to share. Hopefully I will be writing again soon after the move - say a prayer for us!

Yeah, I know. If I ever say "Hey, I'm going to be blogging on here more!" you will never believe me!! So sorry. Well, not really sorry in the way you expect. I would LOVE to blog to my heart's content, but my current lifestyle simply does not allow it the way I want. But, I do want to type a few things out & give a few updates, so here goes…

First, life with 3 kids is CRAZY! Um yes, I was wrong, 3 is definitely harder than 2! And many people say 3 is the hardest, but I don't think we will have a 4th to test that theory out ;) The combination of sleep deprivation, needing a C-section, terribly horrible at sticking with breast-feeding… it just doesn't make a ton of sense for us. I've always said I'd love to adopt, but we're a ways out for being ready for that discussion!

Jovi is a sweet girl. So cute, so chubby, and already showing SO much personality! Yeah, she's strong-willed. Or, at least for now. That little 8-month old can sure throw a tantrum! And, she's not the best sleeper. Most of the time, during the day, she goes down for naps wonderfully, almost never cries. But, she's had several streaks, lasting anywhere from 1 week, to 2 months, of waking every couple hours, moaning & crying endlessly, until someone goes & gives her a binky. I've tried waiting it out 20 min - no good. But, I am really thinking that it's only been b/c of sickness or teeth (which her first ones are SO close to coming in, finally). That has been our biggest challenge. I NEED sleep...  just to be somewhat functional. And when I have too little sleep, I start to really be crazy. Jovi barely sleeps longer than the minimum I need to function, so I've been trying to pray & think through how to organize my life so I can come out with sanity, patience, desire to live... all those nice things ;)

Anyway, she is a pretty good baby. Clingy lately, but overall, very sweet. She crawled before 7mos, pulled herself up before 8, and thinks she could walk if only we would let go of her :) She has cute fuzzy hair and the biggest eyes! Her eyes are more like mine, a grayer shade of blue, but she has a bright golden ring around the middle, making them almost look green. I am excited for the next year of her life… we're getting so close to being in a stage that I absolutely love! Walking, saying a few words, eating mostly on her own, getting some hair & giving hugs & kisses… so fun.

The boys are well. They are EXCELLENT big brothers! Asher can even pick Jovi up & bring her back to the room I'm in when she has wondered off. He entertains her, throws away diapers, brings me wipes… he's even cleaned her up after eating solids! Cole is wonderful too. While not as strong as Ash,  he still helps with running little errands & bringing her toys. She is SO lucky to have them… as am I!

Asher is homeschooling and doing so well. He's almost done with his 1st grade reading & spelling, over halfway with 1st grade math & still enjoying the Classical Conversations group we are in. While not all of the CC info is being practiced at home, we do a lot of the math memorization - the times tables. He knows all of them up to 10! And Cole knows most of them too, just from hanging around while we are schooling. I am enjoying homeschooling a lot. I feel so privileged to get to spend the time teaching him, but I am also challenged & have a lot to work on. Next year will be a little crazy, trying to school both boys, but I just do not feel peace about giving up so much time with them at this stage in their lives. The teaching & figuring out curriculum has been a pretty simple thing for me, I get more overwhelmed with things like figuring out when I'm going to shower, when I will ever get to work out, can I even fix coffee without being interrupted!?! But, this is a stage of life that is relatively short, so I'm doing my best to remember that the more effort I put into loving & teaching them, the better chance they have at living a wonderful life as well.

This brings me to my final updates… Mark & I! We have decided to move to Sellwood (part of East Portland) to be a part of a church revitalization our best friends are involved in. And when I say "involved", I mean that he is the pastor of that church. We'll be investing in the body of Sellwood Baptist, becoming members & sharing life with the people there. We are one of a few families that have decided to become missionaries to Sellwood, moving there intentionally to spread the gospel & build up the body. While we are excited about this, we are a little anxious as well, mostly for housing. It is SO expensive to live in Sellwood - think $200k more for a house of the same liking here in Tigard or Beaverton :P You can pray for that! Pray that God provides the right house, for the right price, as close to the church as He can do. This has been the most faith-stretching so far - resting easy, trusting that He can provide that for us & having the guts to ask with confidence.

Lastly, Mark is back at eBay (for those who didn't know) and doing well there. It was definitely more exciting working at Nike, but we are thankful for him to be home more & far less stressed. I am still making jewelry, but am a little hesitant to really be pushing to create a profitable business. I enjoy it for sure, but I'm trying to learn to put my family first & how to be content by investing in others… I find it hard to do both. Not that it cannot be done, but for me right now, I really feel like my heart needs to be straightened out a bit first.

Well, that's us for now. Of course, I am leaving SO many things out. I'd love to share many more details of life for us these days, but I really want a little snooze while Jovi is asleep & the boys are entertained :) I hope to reach out again soon… we'll see how that goes ;)
Enjoy a few pics of the last 8 months… I will post some more recent ones once I get my photos synced & on the computer...